I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
