WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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