I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
