well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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