:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
