I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
