so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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