the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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