so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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