Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
