i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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