I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
