I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
