I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I just sharted jello shots
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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