If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
