i would punch a child for taco bell
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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