You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
