Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
