..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
