Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
