There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dick very happy bro
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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