I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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