there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
