Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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