I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
