Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
