Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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