reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
