i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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