and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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