There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
