doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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