Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
