lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
