My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
