Church boner. Awkwardddd
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
