Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
