she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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