I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
