this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
