i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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