I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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