We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
