Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
