I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
