He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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