she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
