with your own penis?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You are a genius and a whore.
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