U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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