Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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