Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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