I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How's work?
Spinning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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