and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
3pm strippers are depressing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
